


it means goddess

by ratcarney



Category: The Grinning Man - Philips & Teitler/Grose & Morris & Philips & Teitler/Grose
Genre: F/M, Fluff, No Plot/Plotless, Yearning..., i wax poetic for a while about grinpayne literally saying one (1) word
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-27
Updated: 2020-07-27
Packaged: 2021-03-05 19:13:38
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 749
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25550374
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ratcarney/pseuds/ratcarney
Summary: dea reflects on the ways grinpayne says her name.
Relationships: Grinpayne/Dea, Gwynplaine/Dea
Comments: 2
Kudos: 12





	it means goddess

dea couldn’t _see_ the way grinpayne said her name, but she could _hear_ it.

she heard each syllable like it was a song from his heart. how could his heart be empty when she felt its depths whenever he called her name? how could he claim that he was hollow when every time she heard her name in his soft voice she could feel love coursing through his veins?

grinpayne used her name like it was a prayer.

 _it means goddess,_ he whispered to her. _goddess_.

dea knew that grinpayne was far from religious, but when he said her name, hushed and heartfelt, it sounded like a hymn. he made her feel divine, like she had ichor for blood. in his voice, she earned her rightful place in the heavens.

she felt sacred.

she felt saved.

 _ **dea**_ could be a question, an answer, an exclamation, a promise, but grinpayne never used it as a weapon. never once had he utilized the consonant of the “d” as a makeshift blade to cut her with. when grinpayne spoke her name, he never did so with anger.

but **_dea_** could be used as a cry for help, and more often than not, it was. her heart broke a little whenever she heard the telltale waver of agony in grinpayne’s voice saying _i’m fine, **dea** ,_ even when he wasn’t. _**dea**_ , he choked out through a mouthful of blood when his smile tore at the edges. **_dea_** , he cried when he couldn’t gather the strength to say anything more. _**dea**_ , he hissed when the pain was so great that he couldn’t move. **_dea_** meant comfort. **_dea_** meant help.

he whispered it in her ear when he held her. _my goddess,_ he murmured, and she felt his tentative hands on hers. **_dea_**.

she had memorized the way she could brush her fingertips across his face without hurting him, and when she did so, he rewarded her with her name hidden in a sigh. _**dea.**_

after the first time they kissed (when he stroked his index finger down the outline of her jaw and she pressed both hands to his cheeks, bandaged in cloth), grinpayne broke away and his breath hitched in trepidation. **_dea_** , he said, and dea could feel his fear as if it were tangible; icicles growing off of the sound of the vowels in her name. he didn’t want her to leave, not now that she had pressed her lips so sweetly to the slight opening in the fabric of his bandage. now that she could physically feel his condition—a condition so drastically beyond repair that he was forced to conceal it—he was terrified that she would regret ever wanting to kiss him in the first place. that fragile little **_dea_** heldthe worries of a boy who had a sinking feeling that his heart was about to be broken.

but dea had only fallen into his arms with a contented sigh, and felt him deflate. he spared her the slightest of laughs. _ **dea**_ , he murmured in disbelief.

 ** _dea_** meant _i love you._

dea couldn’t _see_ the way grinpayne said her name, but she could _feel_ it.

when grinpayne carded his fingers through her hair in front of the crackling fire on snowy nights, the smooth, soft, repetitive motions whispered **_dea_**.

when he cupped her cheeks with hands whose fingertips were always freezing regardless of the weather outside, the chilled sensation on her face said _**dea**_.

not once in their puppet show did grinpayne utter her name, but when he twirled her around, she could hear him sing **_dea_**. each time he held her close, each time he swept her off her feet during _beauty and the beast_ , she heard her own name in his loving voice echoing in her ears.

when they sat at the edge of ursus’s cart before the show, and dea sat perched on her knees, her hands grasping at the air around grinpayne’s head as was their pre-show ritual, he sat in front of her and held onto her shoulders as she spoke of his scorching, fiery thoughts. in the feeling of his hands holding firmly to her slight shoulders, she heard him murmur _**dea**_.

dea would never be able to see exactly what grinpayne looked like while saying her name, but she felt it deep in her soul.

 _it means goddess,_ he said.

from within her very being, she felt him say **_dea._**

and to her, that would always be the only thing that mattered.


End file.
